Entry #08: Living By Choice, Not by Opportunity

Date: 5/2/2019; 9:42pm
Location: Home


I think one of the most important things about living my life is to live through choice.

I’m not really quite sure where the idea came that I wanted to live more than what was available, I guess it came around the time that a lot of my friends started to date each other. It seemed more than pure coincidence that everyone just “happened” to get along so well to start dating within our friend circle.

Some jealousy aside, I started to wonder if people liked each other because it just happened to be that way. Some would call it the “natural” way, but at least living in such a small place like Hawaii, it seemed to be too good to be true.

It seemed to me that people want to live life out of convenience than by choice. It became more and more of an apparent idea when I start to see my friends and past acquaintances simply settling for what they already have. My friends are amazing! I couldn’t imagine my friends not reaching for the start!

Umm, what?

I started to get confused. People should know that they are worth way more than they think, right?

I wanted to make sure that the decisions I made from then on to be something that I really wanted, and it wasn’t just out of pure coincidence that it was an opportunity I could have taken. An opportunity presented might not be the same as an opportunity that was made. I hope I’m making sense lol.

I guess all I want to make sure is that for whomever I have ever come in close contact with doesn’t settle for anything less than what they’re worth. Of course, a 100% success rate isn’t very likely but at least 10% or something like that! I hope the best for my friends and what they wish for.

Josh, who made you philosophical again?

I’m not sure where that kind of thought came from, but I feel like it from the fact that I’ve started to take the bus again. I’ve had a bit more time to think, and I’m sure I’ll get a lot more time to myself once I’m in Uganda. It’s a strange thing to be alone with yourself and thoughts for such an extended period of time, isn’t it?

I guess, also, that since I’ll be gone for such an extended period of time away from my friends and family, I’m just hoping that they’ll still be alive and well when I come back. Two years isn’t exactly a short or long period of time, but it’s enough to see that changes have been made.

People might get married, have a child, maybe two! I’m not really sure what to think of the future, but I am positively excited about the world we live in. Despite the ups and downs, I have found better ways to cope with these sort of depressive episodes and sparks of emotion that have come down these past few days.

I hope that remains true when I’m off to Africa, haha.

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