Entry #15: Going away party

wild party, entry16

Date: 5/11/2019
Location: A cleaner room, home.


Before you ask, no I don’t believe we live in a simulation.

I was just watching Black Mirror and it was all about being this interactive kind of movie, where we get to make changes in how the main character moves about the story line while the movie progresses. Cool idea, annoying implementation. I think I just wanted to get that off my chest LOL.

But even better news, we just had a going away party for me – yippee. In all honesty, yes it was great. It was nice to be able to see everyone and realize how many people I won’t be able to see in this time while I’m gone. But it was incredibly overwhelming. There were just lots of people, haha. I mean, not that I didn’t really expect them to not come, but many of these faces like my friends and family were there to remind me that there are people that like having me around, probably haha.

Also I was drinking, so you know, there’s that part of being overwhelmed as well lol.

But I guess the most interesting thing was that, somehow, I still felt some kind of empty space inside, you know? It was weird, because everyone that I pretty like to talk to, hang out, and have had LOTS of quality time with were there. My friends from elementary school, middle school, high school and college. Some of these guys have literally been there since the first day of school, and some of these guys I’ve met only when I was just about to finish graduating!

Maybe I just have too much on my mind and I couldn’t focus on any one particular thing. Maybe I’m just getting worked up and nervous over the fact that I am leaving. The feeling of being unprepared. The feeling that I might not be good enough for this. All of this things end up repeating themselves after awhile.

It’s like a bad rerun of a family sitcom, except the reruns are these reoccurring panic attacks and the bad family sitcom is actually my life haha.

There are lots of great memories I can go over with the people I’ve made connections with, but as some would say about humans, we tend to focus not on the overwhelming majority, but the tiny bit that goes against it. The “ugly” parts, as some would say. Fill in your favorite word in double quotes.

Less than three weeks left, and all I’ve got to say is: let’s get this show on the road.

Oh yeah, they also tied me up for fun. ‘Cause… I don’t know. My cousins thought it’d be funny, it kinda was lol.

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